stuff on my mind
07.07.08 (12:29 am) [edit]well i dont got alot on my mind well maby i do i dont know yet. I str8t up hate censorship. i cant stand having to bite my lip every time i want to say something just because it might offend some one. i just dont care any more im going to say what i want when i want. I dont care who i offend now. i got that freedom and im going to use it. right now im listing to music to try and calm my nervs but i cant quit thinkng about how my x bf hurt me again. i thunk that we could be frinds but we cant and i know now that its never going to happen. i think that he is hurt because all i wanted to do is kill my self when we were together. i just dont get how some one can be so mean. he says that he hates me but i do think that there are some feelings there. He knows that im still in love with him and it sucks. So the next day i sent him a message on myspace if what he said is how he realy feels about me. but im doing good. im with a wonderfull guy...hopefully. I love him to death and i know and hope that he wont hurt me. i realy want to go to the gathering this year. but i cant cuz i cant fucking drive. witch sucks cuz i realy want to meet more of my juggalo family. people think that i have changed alot sense i went to colledge. I dont think i have changed but every round me does. but what ever i realy dont care and i guess that i dont know. i mean i love my juggalo family and i love all my friends and family.
i wish things where better
07.05.08 (4:51 pm) [edit]i thunk me and my x could be friends. i guess not cuz he said some realy nasty shit to me. im still in love with him and i will allways will be in love with him. I just dont get how one minut we could be friends and the next he hates me. He thinks that i am going to cut again im a hell of a stornger person. when i was with him all i wanted to do is cut. I dont think ill ever get over him and it sucks. I am trying to get over but its hard. the guy im with now is not much better for me becuase he is not talking to me and it sucks. but ill play this one out cuz i realy like him. "I Miss You" D.H.T Oh baby I know that I did you wrong But I got lost along the way And I never thought you'd walk away But you did and I can't cope with it [Chorus 2x] I'm alone and I don't know what to do With my feelings cause I'm still not over you And I'm crying from the day you walked away And I miss you I miss you (I miss you) I tell my friends that I got over you That I took your pictures of the wall But I know there is another truth That I miss you That I need you [Chorus 2x} my dad said if somethinghappend to my family that he would chock me and then though me in the pond. that shit pisses me off he just threated to kill me again. im just bla again and that song is so true about me and greenz. I never knew love could bring so much pain.